Hi, so let me be 100% real with you.

I don’t mean to be depressing. I meant for this blog to be something else entirely but it’s turned into a sort of journal. Which, honestly, is probably best for me.

You know, there are things I can’t tell people that know me. Things that would probably get me destroyed..abandoned all over again.

I could maybe be able to handle that now that I’m older and just a tiny bit wiser.

But do I really want to risk that?

So here’s a recent secret;

I keep looking up anorexia plans as if I’ll follow them.
I don’t even hate the way I look, but I probably still feel like I’d be loved more if I was skinny.

I feel like crying.

I’m actually a happy person though. I really really am. I’m just currently lost once again. This time with no one to talk to.

I’m living independently for the first time in my life. I’m doing pretty okay as well. Paying all my bills on time, eating healthy most of the time, being social..

Well, the problem could be as I always say..Maybe I’m just..#deadinside¬†



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